Paper Clip Strike: A Foray in Irrealism

I was walking to class around two thirty in the afternoon, by my estimate, when my paperclips arbitrarily stopped working. The pile of papers I was carrying laughed all the way to the ground. The paperclips danced around me as I knelt on the ground, gathering the papers. They reveled in my discomfort, smirking at me disdainfully. I was humbled for a moment. Then I realized I was bigger than they were.
Roaring to my feet like Godzilla, I began stomping on them, scattering them in all directions. Their glee quickly turned to terror as I destroyed them left and right. I kicked at them and they flew all over. More paperclips than I ever knew I had took flight like so many schizophrenic seagulls. I relished my power over them.
But then…
A swarm, an ocean of paperclips overwhelmed me. Like locusts they came, like multiplying amoeba. The sun flashed off of the shiny paperclips like a thousand silver swords before battle. They paperclipped my shoelaces to the ground, immobilizing me. They paperclipped my fingers together, disarming me. They paperclipped my eyes shut, blinding me! Though I flailed my arms about like a squid out of water, it was to no avail. The paperclips were as merciless as a Catholic school nun in a room full of delinquents. Covering me like some mutant slime, they paralyzed me and brought me down to the ground. I gasped for air, I heaved for air, I choked for air, but I inhaled only paperclips.

(Erin Esson)